The final piece in my puzzle

Last night I was watching a tv programme, where an experiment was being conducted. Several old celebrities were taken from their everyday life, and placed with others in a house that surrounded them in decor and memorable items indicative of  their younger adult years. The changes in their personalities and physical health was quite incredible where they interacted with eachother enjoying eachothers company, laughed again and had much fun together, it was a lovely transformation.

They had reached a time in their lives of old age, and adapted to it by behaving as an old person is expected to do so by society. We are so obsessed with the aging process, that we have made the people in that category irrelevant invalid and insignificant individuals, their identities are erased by societies indifference towards them, I suppose a lack of understanding and most importantly a respect.

And that is exactly what has happened to those who have received a diagnosis of MS (which in my opinion is a totally manmade condition) I believe that previous episodes experienced are our bodies warning of a stress overload, and is telling us to keep stress in check in future. But because a false diagnosis of ms and all that comes with it is given, idividuals are plucked from their current lives and thrust into one of, incredible doubt, and inconsistancies, which demoralises and creates fear of ones future. They are pushed and forcibly made to accept a total fictitious condition, when there are alternative isssues that are happening to them, as in my case.

So my bottom line is:
1.  A misaligned Atlas, caused by adapting to previous balance anomilies caused by some kind of stress warning.

2. Many psychological issues, including stress/anxiety which intensifies an underlying  neck and lower back ache to a very strong pain, and caused other knock on effects (google Dr Windman Atlas to get full array of symptoms caused)

3. Because the spine becomes twisted due to Atlas this then effects bladder meridian. and effects pressure points causing even more tension pain.

I was diagnosed 10 years ago on the say so of a possitive MRI, 10 years off my life was written off, just like that, and to me that is unforgivable.

I will now leave this as my last blog this year as it needs to be read by others. I now realise how damaging it is to frequent a certain website, that keeps people in this so called MS world, and welcomes others to this particular non existant gang, its not the users fault at all, but the organisers should have realised the possible alternatives involved, and not ploughed all monies raised for research, into a medical solution only, as only a cure can save, when that is so not the case. you CANNOT CURE what DOESNT EXIST. They have had  much money and resourses at their disposol . so why havent they used them properly? On this one there is no excuse. The NHS is also at fault as they too have been running with the wrong ball in those cases like me.

this is my final post for a while. because now it is the responsibility of those who drove people to this awful. terrible point, to get them out, no question. Perhaps its time for others more open minded and the young to now take charge, as this increasingly effects young adults Foolishness and short sightedness has influenced mine and I suspect many many others lives, its time to get it right.

releasing the pressure

Went to see John my Chiro yesterday, and we have come to the conclusion after veiwing diagram on pressure points and corresponding them, all but one to my current problems are a match, from the ones in my left neck and shoulder area, to lower back and right leg. I invested in a deep tissue massager, and we dicussed what needs to be done to relieve the rigidity/tension caused by these areas.

So I had three things going on a misalligned Atlas, which effected the bladder meridian, which has also caused a problem with pressure points.

There are three pressure points on the abdomen, so I did place he massager on that area, and there was a familiar sensation experienced that first time.

So this seems to be the final solution to a very much complex situation, so all now is finally in hand, and now the code can be cracked,. So onwards and upwards I go.

On getting to this point, I think I just subconsiouly adapted tp every anomily, until it was finally impossible to stand upright. Now that I am reversing. I am conscious of all that is happening to my body, and finally my mind and body will become in tune with eachother.

I can see the light at the end of mine

I can finally see the light at the end of my tunnel, and when I eventually emerge to bathe in that wonderful sun, so bright  I have to shut my eyes, and it  heats and lights up my face. I then have two choices to make, walk away and happily continue with my life. or turn around and go back into that tunnel, which is the option I will take. and this is why. I am 47 and my chidren are young adults (and lovely ones at that) I would never abandon them never, nor will I those that remain lost in that tunnel, which I know is a very lonely unforgivable, and frightening  place to be. So who will stand in those kids corners, a Doctor, Nerologist or scientist, no, but I will, and I will help get them out of that tunnel, and bask in that new found light.

So alone I will no longer stand, but with many

so no pressure then

As my most recent problem is, a realy tight calf, that prevents me from standing, my weight not going down (when sitt)  through my right buttock, a neck ache that I always grab my left neck to shoulder area to relieve the ache, plus a lower back ache, plus a tension in my right thigh. also my right ankle has started to ache, my knee did hurt a few days ago, but after massaging two sore areas either side of my knee has now gone Well I think today whilst seeing my chiropractor we may be able to progress in knocking that particular nail on the head.

Because in all these areas are pressure points the ones in my right back thigh prevent me from putting that thigh down, so that is why my weight doesnt go down through my right buttock, and this I only realised whilst sitting on my shower chair less than 1/2 an hour ago. I am so chuffed that I have finally worked this one out, and it all makes perfect sense, a truely perfect sense.

anticipation is a pain

In the mornings, although painful I have to straighten my right leg as my calf musle has over these few weeks oncredibly tight (just a temp thing), but once stretched eases it. So I have got in the habbit of folding my quilt longways in half, and laying on my front to release it. I kneel on all four ready to fall forward knowing its going to hurt. But I have learnt something this morning, the more anxious and tense I get anticipating how much it is going to hurt, because my body tenses, makes it hurt even more, ouch, so this morning I concerntrated on relaxing, not easy, but I did it and do you know what, didnt hurt no where near as much. like laying on a bed of nails, I always wondered what the secret was, perhaps this is it eh!

So bottom line is: the anticipation and rigidity it causes in the body, causes the pain to hurt much more.

Cervical spine

If the cervical spine is comprimised by trauma or as in my case, balance related issues which I adapted to unable to adapt back, by trauma I mean any kind of accident to the head area that stresses the neck in some respect. The cervical spine (neck)  is crucial to our mechanics, if is out, can or will cause all sorts of problems elsewhere in the body, its amazing, I have learnt so much about my own make up in these passed months.

open mind

I am sure that there are many Doctors out there, that believe  that there is a place for alternatives in medicine, in my case a chiropractor and those that help relieve stresses and anxieties, the psychological fraction in life. Stress contributes to in heart attacks, strokes, high blood pressure, even reasponsible for eating disorders, self harming the list is endless because it all involves psychology an important side of life, thats why psychologists are invaluable.

To persue medical research only in curing MS is to me the greatest mistake of all. I know this sounds incredible, but you CANT cure what doesnt EXIST. As it has been manufactured over many, many years. I am lucky I have found my answers. But the I am alright Jack scenario doesnt sit right with me, so I'll keep blogging until the penny finally and deffinitely drops.

Surely there is some comprehensive stats somewhere, I keep looking but can't really find any. There should be accessible graphs and statistics we can all see, i.e. age clusters, occupations I have noticed quite a few teachers, have all these years been wasted, no wonder they are running with the wrong ball, there hasnt been environmental or timing studies i.e. stress relation. I am just an ordinary mum, but I know, it all falls short on the stats side, they've wasted all those years, just waiting for a cure. Madness pure madness. Surely MS society has an ideal opportunity to gather statistics from willing members on its boards, as an organisation they dominate the whole MS world, its hard to find a different independents, but I have managed to curve ball round them in the end. As I disagree with their medical only approach.

freedom of speech, debate, oppinion is everything

As you are all aware I frequented an MS site that was available to all, before being falsley ejected, through some made up allegations and an obvious closing of ranks, this seemed rather unproffessional and unfair. I have just viewed a comment posted yesterday regarding  others thinking that their oppinions, views, and beliefs are above all others and can be quite off to those just expressing their own oppinions which they are perfectly entitled to do so. Its even their way or the highway. When I now think about the methods used to get me to go for good, was relying on the stress factor, which is really quite nasty, they kept on and on kind of heckling in a way so that others just couldnt consider what I was trying to say, whilst at the same time portraying themselves as really nice huggy kissy sweethearts and butter wouldnt melt, well i DONT think so. Then dont ask me how they did it, but all emails received by the organisers, higher up than the website manager, ignoring my appeals for justice, were deleted from my system, I didnt imagine them, this was also underhand as all my proof had gone.   We are all individuals, with our own oppinions ideas and beliefs likes dislikes what our religions and politics are, those should all be respected. I myself am not religious but that is my choice and my perogative. A particular board for "day to day living" has become strangled and taken over by a minority of people, the main body and bulk of people are, open minded etc and very very kind. The problem that has arisen that those who have used it as an "ego" boosting arena have driven away with the help of some outragious control by organisers of the website, much needed, variety of people all different qualities and personalities, nice people who could give excellect advice, and have chosen to move on and I dont blame them. There was an incredible possitive balance to the board people indicating their posts with the words "not ms" if about a different issue by *** if it was a joke, and always excellent advice and a range of it too given now the consideration of indicating a subjects content is not being totally observed which is frustrating to new users. Its got to the point people dare not say there oppinion, the boards balance has been systematically destroyed. It ran by itself by the people using it, a moderaters intervention only required when a distinct problem arose, and certainly not over oppinionated in any way, and they participated and interacted with others.

The reason I feel so strongly about all this, is because those who run it are a large organisation and I think some original and old users have become instatutionalised, and therefore can not be objective and open minded as many of us are, so they are restricting any kind of progress in thought which I believe is needed particularly by the youngest generation, its time to move over and consider there thoughts and ideas because then progress is made.

The "limbo" board is definitely the one to observe, lots can be learnt from there about current attitudes from the Neuros, not their fault just the lines they are instructed to follow.

I now climb down off of my soapbox. That weight that I have carried around for months and months has now been lifted. and I cant get banned yet again either. How good is that.

I am adding this here 26/12 as not to preceed my final post, but I have observed just now some posts on THE website and I find it so frustrating to read posts, where others do not know where to turn, in terrible mind and physical states. And I have been forcibly stopped, from accessing those people, this big organisation should be ashamed of silencing an alternative voice like mine, shame on them, big shame

Limboland

This is an unforgivable place to be. Neurologists seem to be in a bit of a tight spot, as MRIs  are turning out to be clear, so are looking at other conditions that seem to fit the symptoms that are being experienced.It seems to be a very precarious situation, where conditions are being mentioned that I haven't even heard of before. Are they stabbing in the dark. seems to be the case ti me, this is all very very wrong, and these already stressed out people are being subjected to more detrimental stress, by an organisation such as the NHS that is supposed to help not cause even more damage. Its hard to watch, very hard indeed.

keep your hands to yourself

If I did take up the invitation to see a Neurologist, I am possitive all my behaviour issues would be indicative to MS, I would have failed every test given to me. I would have drowned in the NHS system as it stands today as only looking at me solely through medical eyes, where I would be given certain drugs to aleviate certain problems and possibly a side effect of that drug, creating yet another MS symptom, there would have been no end to it all, until a cocktail of drugs would have had to be taken. where as today I take none except an over the Asda counter ibruprofen. I am secondary progressive, and diagnosed by a positive MRI with lesions to brain and spine.

It is now time for me to next year, draw up a living will, which the bottom line will be, for the NHS to keeps its hands well and truely to itself as to regards any MS.


So its a great way to end 2010 and start 2011 with a new found clarity

They've got it so wrong

In my case, the have got it so wrong. As I have said, I have a mess, but no MS, my previous blog explains the reasons why. I am happy that in time I will be me again, It has taken 10 years to get this twisted, it will take time to twist back, but it is happening, slowly but it will happen.

my research

As over these past years I have gathered research, I think the only sensible thing would be to tell you all my conclusions that I came to.step by step


Google Dr Windman Atlas, take note of the human diagram 

Then go to http://www.americanacupuncture.com then find the diagram of bladder meridian, then cross reference the points to Dr Windmans example.bl 10,bl 42,bl 47,bl27, bl54 & 31, bl 30, 39, 57 and finally 60  they all match.

Then go to http://www.aromacaring.co.uk and find the diagram of pressure points, they also mostly correspond.

Prior to these I was particularly interested in Noel Battens, case study  on Tiffany and her spine misalignment photgraph,

Hope this makes sense to you, the cross reference points that there are, are quite incredible

And that is why I have a mess, but not MS

stop stressing out young adults

Something that does really worry me, is the everyday stresses etc. which is placed on todays young adults, it is really not fair, there seems to be an incredible amount of pressure placed upon our young adults way beyond what is reasonable. Exams and just even getting into university must be massively stressfull. Lifes stress seems to spring out of the wood work as soon as they are out there, pressure pressure pressure, even learning to drive is expensive, not to mention taking their test, and insurance wow, and buying a house forget it. The older generation see them as a legitimate target as a money making entity.

I know this sounds old fashioned, but back in my day so much more enjoyable, today its just a world of targets and figures. Its time society took more care with the next generation and not to go over the top stress wise, we all can only take so much.

I have read that Canada has a higher rate of ms diagnosis than other countries, but then after checking they have quite a high rate of stress, coincidence, I think not.

I am lucky I can now see how destructive stress has been to me. We are just creating lifes future casualties, it needs to stop.

Don't waste it

There is one thing that over and over again crosses my mind, and I do get a little annoyed with myself that I was so soft.

Don't ever waste your well time on anyone or anything that just isn't going to change. Don't be so eagre to afford that benefit of the doubt and time and time give it.

Do not let one person influence your whole lifes decissions, make it more balanced and see what is beyond them.

I am more happier and resolute than I have ever been permitted, as there was always a drama that would take priority.

Because my mind was messed with, that then effected me physically, I suppose in a way my body took a beating without a finger being laid on it. 

Eventually after many years of being chipped at, my heart was eventually snapped in half, which then caused my whole body to crumble to floor.

Surely I would never be able to get up one last time, had I anything left, well YES I did. and this time I will do it my way.

They wont shut me up

I have thought long and hard about putting this info out to the general public because it is so controversial and unbelievable, I have taken great care as not to worry and frighten others, that is why I held back until the last few days in letting others who may be like me know. I wanted to let professional bodies know first. I decided that now was the right time to inform a selected few, who I needed to share my blog with and give them the opportunity to consider, and to make up their own minds on the subject. The only way that I could gain access to those in  "Limboland" was via a wellknown website, who really dont understand what my intentions are at all, and never have taken the time to find out.  Anyway, there is a far greater picture here, its too important for me to walk away (meterphorically speaking) and turn my back on those very same people (users of the site) that helped get me here, with their candid replies to my questions, or a silence, no response at all, and they were the greatest and most telling answers of all. So bottom line is I have been banished yet again (yawn yawn) But I was able to let between 20 -30 people know up until that point. So what I ask of  you now is, if you think that there may be something in what I am saying, please pass this blog on, I'll just have to rely on word of mouth from now on, but then thats the best recommendation of all. Lucky I cant get banned from here eh!

The question that I would ask

I would love to sit infront of a top Chiropractor and Psychologist, and ask just two questions, well three actually,

To the Psychologist I would as "can a psychological stress intensify an underlying ache to a pain.

To the Chiropractor I would ask, "would a misalignment of the spine, cause a nervous tension."

Then to both I would ask "can the body influence the mind, and can the mind influence the body causing a catch 22 situation"

Not complicated at all. I love the bottom line.

it had crossed my mind

You know I was interested as to why few American footballers and no Rugby players were on the MS famous list, as I thought that there would be quite a lot, as my problems are cervical spine (neck) related, and their necks must take a massive amount of punishment. Well I've got this hot off the press from an American family member, well ex actually. Anyway he coaches a small team and he says that they have an orthopedic surgeon at hand and professional teams have chiroprators.

So that answers my question, what a great start to the day.

Oh and google sport chiropractor.

Mind vs body

When a child is told by a parent over and over and again that they are stupid, they end up believing it. I suppose in cases of misdiagnosis similar to me, and you are told over and over again, by a variety of medical personnel that you have ms, even if you have the slightest doubt, you are instructed to ignore it, and ACCEPT your fate, your life is suddenly taken from your hands, and then place all your trust in others, because you have now been made to think, you are no longer your own person, and for me that would have been such a bad thing.

The trouble is, that when people converse and swap stories of their own symptoms, which may be attributed by something totally different and that includes stress, as stress on stress makes a right fine mess, it gets bigger and bigger and never gets less, it feeds through the day it feeds through the night, it never lets you rest, there's no question it might. And theres the biggest catch 22 you have ever been faced with.

Because ms is based on uncertainty, no body can conclusively say that a particular drug, does not only have a placebo effect and that is it. But for those that it does becauase for you its a win win, because that means you are more in control of your body that you have been lead to believe. The mind state has the biggest influence on your body above any drug, they both work in harmony. A clear focussed mind is a wonderful thing, took a long time to find mine under all that rubbish, but I got here in the end.

This blog has helped me no end

This blog has helped me to offload loads of stuff that has swam around my head for a long long time now, I have researched and followed entirely in what I have believed in, even by just the improvements I have already experienced, before I actually walk, have been incredible and made such a difference particularly to my thinking.
I had got to such a stage that I didn't want to live, but I didnt want to die either. I am glad that moment passed, as would have caused much devestation to my family. I have checked out of any sort of social life, but that is something that when I am up and running that I will return to fully. My life over the last ten years has been devestating, I have been subjected to many humiliations no man or woman should be subjected to, and most will know exactly what I mean, and these details will remain private to me as they do to others. I was diagnosed on a positive MRI, which had lesions to my brain and spine, that is why I question the validity of the original theory. my children have had to watch their mother weaken. I have always been a most independant person, and someone has done their utmost to steal that away from me, through their total misunderstanding of a subject, that they have heavily relied on a very old concept/idea.

If I can do what I have achieved then any of you can. I was scared that I would die and nobody would get to know what I do, so it means a lot that I have managed to speak through this blog.

I suppose I am my Dads legacy, he taught me much about D.I.Y. and fixing things, he taught me that there is always a reason why something does not work, unless it is unservicable, so I supposeI found my reason. So Dad I thank you for the lesson.

I had every sympton acredited to MS except fatigue, they have mostly all gone, and my walking will eventually return.

Where there is stress, you'll find MS

I think the diagnosis of MS is only in western countries,where  stress is considered a part of life.

I quite often think, why it is not evident in poor 3rd world countries, they have bundles of stresses in just finding food. But then it's a differennt kind of stress, even though their children are suseptible to hunger and disease, but I very much doubt MS. In my eyes it has been manufactured by modern man. I think stress is also under estimated in modern countries, its responsible for heart attacks, high blood pressure, strokes, depression etc etc the list goes on, it about time all that is possible is done to reduce everyday stresses, especially when you presume you are safe and secure in your own home, only to be badgered by phone calls, junk mail and door to door callers, its not right everyone should be entitled to some kind of respite and peace. Until stress is treated as a major factor to peoples health, the powers that be will always be out of pocket and waisting money on it consequences, which are so distructive to us all. People do thrive on a certain amount of stress and may work fine in a working environment, so back off of our private lives.

If I knew then what I know now

My very first warning of a stress overload was a desensitised feeling right down my left side from the top of my head down to the tip of my big toe,  I would have taken notice, ditched the stress factor, unfortunately that would have been my partner, and continued with a naturally happy life. Now I see it for what it was, shame I took no notice.

The world of limboland just gets bigger

It must be awful for the amount of others left hanging in limbo, nothing concrete, no commitment, the thing is its got so out of hand, so complex, so many crossovers, lupus, hughes, lymes etc etc.  Peoples sanity is being tried to the limit, the stress that all causes is damaging in itself, it messes with your head. If there are others like myself, which there has to be, then they are being so mismanaged. I have had to systematically break things down bit by bit. How can anyone else do that, if they enter a system, that does not allow them to do that, kind of brainwashing a person to accept it at all costs. That is terrible, the stress factor needs tackling, stress can make a pain/ache unbearable. What really makes me cross is I could have been one of my children aged 21 or 19, how dare they snuff out their futures like that, their opportunity to have children, as a parent that infuriates me. Thank God it was me, what is needed is a psychologist to break down the stress/anxiety factor, an acupucturist, to help strengthen the bladder, which then enables the core to strengthen, I took sides off my wheelchair nearly fell out of it a few times, but learnt to stay in it. and finally a Chiropractor to check the spine allignment. If somone has had a balance issue, then their Atlas could be out like mine. Noel Battens example of Tiffany interested me and really endorsed what I thought and made complete sense to me. Its so frustrating to think there are others like me, and the observations that I have made via a well known website, I am convinced that there are. In my case someone has made a catestrophic mistake, and it just hasn't effected me either.

Discovered

MS was discovered in the 19th century, are you telling me that theory still stands, as it was back then, no challenge no advancement in science regarding that idea.

Well it looks to me that they are now definitely running with the wrong ball, and barking up the wrong tree.

I had a psychological tension pain that was excaserpated by my bodies misalignment caused by my Atlas, that had become out of place due to me adapting to a stress overload which effected my balance and a 1/2 second delay in message relay, penultimately causing a pain in my neck and lumber area. because of my misalignment, I believe the muscles and tendons have shortened, down my right side, so when trying to outstretch or stand on my right leg, is very painful as if calf is ripping,

Our bodies are an incredible piece of engineering, but if one section becomes misplaced, it causes it to malfunction, in many areas.

The mind and body is so interlinked, and inmy case was able to cause a continuous catch 22 situation, after many months I now know what I am dealing with, and see it as incredibly arrogant to exclude chiropractors as they have been.

No wonder it all has become one complete mess, and those in limboland must be producing clear MRIs and LPs but if like me displaying symptoms synonimus to todays made up mess

Today after some adjustment

Well today after seeing my chiro John yesterday, I dont feel, as lastime.that I have been run over by a train. So I wke up knowing that to straighten my right leg will be difficult. I fold my quilt in half and use that to lay on my front, to try and straighten my leg, to do so takes time and feels like my muscle in my calf is ripping, but finally it goes down, painfull but not as painful as before, when I would have to bite my cushion to muffle my cries. I have got use of a deep muscle massager, which I shalll use on both, not just the right but both legs, to try and loosen them up. So that's it so far, its so good not to feel so bad. And to know that things can only get better.

Better every time

I went to see john my Chiropractor today, I usually feel a bit rough for first three days after, but not feeling to bad this time. I feel closer to walking more than ever, juddering (tremor) gone, flexing (spasm) gone, my body was always stressed physically all over, but is now quieter in areas. And my problems seem to be in my right hip, which causes a painfull tightness down my right leg, my calf feels as if it is actually ripping inside. I'm really not pushing or challenging it, just going with the flow, I've done a lot of puzzles, was going to do some knitting, but a no no as too neck intensive. I think if I suddenly reverted back even just a few days, I dont think I would cope. How I felt two years ago, was like being buried alive, only at least your air would eventually run out but not in this case, it was like being locked outside on my own, whilst everyone else, was inside, in the warm, chatting and laughing together, whilst I looked un-noticed through the window. My children interacting with everyone else, but me, it was heartbreaking to watch. But now, those tables have turned my future is going to be a bright one, and not one to fear. The psychological aspects I have gone through, is phenominol ( i think thats how you spell it) I even questioned my own sanity, I am doing right, I know I am. Tears have also been a plenty, I had even learned to cry with no tears, so I could instantly appear happy if my son, sister or Mum came in. People may have seen me as arogant or stubborn,but no I have just followed my own beliefs, and damn glad that I did. tomorrow might be a worse day, but at least I know its only temporary.

I wonder where the stats are

I know that there seems to be a lot of teachers diagnosed with MS, now that must be a stressfull job. Anyway they have statistics that 100,000 people have MS in uk, so surely they must now as stress heavily involved, from what working background these people come from, even others like me just a Mum (I count too) surely these stats should be public knowledge, I wonder where I will find them. I suspect that there isnt any. Woops now that would be a massive oversight.

I wonder why

I yesterday viewed a list of famous people with MS apparently 3 x american football players not all current, plus not one Rugby player, now to me that is of great interest. Have asked a relative, who is a american football coach, if they have a resident Chiropractor or not different time zone so no answer yet. I have another relative who was a chairman of a rugby club, perhaps I shall ask him or my Chiropractor John who I am seeing today the same question. There must be a reason i'm intrigued. The cervical spine is so very important to our mechanics, its important to take care of that area, in fact it is crucial. I have noticed that my problems are in my upper and lower spine, and the pain/discomfort is simultanious, including tension in my upper back.

I have just spoken to aunt about the rugby question, and she doesnt know any rugby player being diagnosed with MS, and that in itself is quite incredible as been on rugby scene 20 years plus. Anyway uncle John will have a better idea as although his is only asmall club, has got some good contacts, so we will see what he comes up with.

My symptoms were different

I have never had pins and needles, you know the ones you'd get when you were a kid and knelt too long, I have a desensitised feeling in my left hand, like you've left a rubber band round your wrist too long.

I've never had double vision either, I presume thats what it says on the tin, that you see two of one thing. But I must have had poor vision as when my Chiropractor treatment began just suddenly improved, unexpectedly, it was like somebody had been in and fixed my telly.

But this time I didnt

Several years ago, I experienced a desensitised feeling in my groin and down to my right knee. I considered going to the doctors and getting steroids to prevent any uneccessary damage, but I decided against doing that. I would give it 48 hrs and if it got worse I would go.


Anyway, it got less and less and within 72hrs had gone. My point here is (in my case) if I had taken steroids, I would not have  known that it just would have gone all by itself. I would have presumed that the steroids had worked. Yes it was a risk, but one I am now glad that I took.

antidepressant qualities

Amitriptyline 20 mg is prescribed to aid sleep, 30 mg to stop nerve pain, as I was experiencing a tension pain, and an underlying back and neck pain caused  by something else. Only others swear by it, as it helps. As I am familiar with this drug, as I was on it for a number of years at a much higher dose for depression, I again get my thinking cap on. Perhaps the reason it has such a possitive effect, is because of its relaxing qualities as being an antidepressant.

I had two types of pain going on, I know this when I sustained a nasty bruise injury to my arm. I had a tension pain, not touched by painkillers and an actual injury pain that was. wierd I know, but now makes perfect sense, as a catch 22 develops where the pychological effects the physical and vice versa, a pain causes stress and stress causes pain, I have managed to break that cycle, by breaking my mess down bit by bit and understanding it

Glandular fever link, I think

Not that I've ever had glandular fever, but I think its linked to herpes virus, which lays dormant within the system and hey presto pops up again.

Many people on the ms website, have had glandular fever, its quite interesting, unfortunately the websites search button is not up and running at the mo. so not possible for others to check, but the subject has come up quite often over time, so there has to be a link. Perhaps it too lays dormant but appears later under a disguise, lets say fatigue.

Anyways yesterday happened accross some old article (isnt google a wonderful piece of technology) dated 22/4/2004 BBC News titled "Glandular fever virus link to MS" So perhaps my theory is not that outlandish afterall

the blame game

I have been through many emotions recently as to who's fault it is that 10 years of my life has just been written off. And what pushed me here was def stress. I spent full time correcting or trying to make good, a bad situation really, constant silly irresponsible mistakes made by my then partner. a constant stream of little things over years, I suppose it all came to a head.

I had become quite the actor, (this is way before any kind of diagnosis) years even. Anyway, I would look good (ilike to think) on the outside, and if anyone asked how were things, I would convincingly reply and smile and nod " ok, fine" when the reality inside was of sadness, worry and disappointment, all down to the man I loved and vey much I might add. and the final straw was, he broke me, wrote me off and walked away with another. So was it his fault, No, why? he had no idea as to the physical effect his actions would have on me, there was a time that I thought he must hate me, to cause me so much physically. But I now know that he hasnt a malicious bone in is body, lots of stupid ones, but nasty and cruel he isnt.

So was it my fault, I let him get away with it, I let stress effect me so badly, it must have been my fault, I let it happen. Well, No again. I've gone through more than enough, I'm not pinning that one on me too.

No its the organisation which appears to be the NHS that made the decission not to include Chiropractors in the treatment of a disease that effects the spinal chord, what fool made that decission, the body structure is these peoples field of expertise, where is the sense to deliberately exclude them, it doesn't make sense none at all. Plus the other scarey thing is, my gums had bled really badly for the same time period, I was told by a dentist that I had gum disease and was at risk of losing my teeth. As soon as I had Chiropractic treatment stopped overnight, a complete surprise to me as I thought that the amitriptyline was causing it. how wrong was I.

So my gums stopped bleeding, and the blood flow to my body increased especially to my hands, thats where I think of the whole CCSVI issue although a stent may solve the symptom it doesnt solve the cause, perhaps the Atlas is it, a misaligned Atlas can effect blood pressure, interesting eh!

Now I best go to bed and sleep tight

Just making my ms status clear

As I am listening to my favourite cd, something springs to mind, the thought that people may be saying that I am only experiencing good things, (not walking yet though, but give it time) people may be saying, well she's in remission, thats why she is feeling good. Well no actually, apparently that's now not possible, you see I was labelled up on that one, by a sweeping glance from a neuro, as I was now in a chair with wheels, it was decided I was now SPMS, oh joy yet another label, well he is entitled to his opinion, I'll just smile and accept for now eh! in other words I wasnt going to waste my time protesting, now that would be a futile exercise as them ears are well and truely shut, not his fault, just the way it is.

So no I am NOT in remission, just so you guys know ok

And who did I see?

I would look in the mirror and the person who stared back, was not me.
It was a broken, old woman, that I didnt know.

Today, that lady has gone and its ME looking back, I am fixable, my tears can now stop.
The old Fiona will return, on that I have no doubt, she's well on her way already.

And that feels good, so good.

At least I know

As John my Chiro couldn't understand why my lower back area keeps being twisted. I thought that I would think hard about that. I decided to make a conscious effort to try sleeping on my left side, up until now has not been possible. Anyway the first night was difficult, but did it for three hours, and last  night yet again, this morning as I crawled to the living room, there was a definite diference as to my power, I seemed to be more streamline. Anyways I then made a mistake, as I was feeling very sleepy, I presume as my body was much more relaxed, as I hadnt felt like that for years, I laid down on my back on the settee, I immediately was aware of the lightness going and the heaviness returning. Since then I reverted back to the day before. But now I am closer than ever and at least I know my current problems are fixable, so tonight again my left side and see what tomorrow brings.

Do I stand alone?

To this question, I think not. Many people have doubts, things not adding up, being told your meylin sheath is making yor body act the way it is, you have a doubt. mine was that I would always be aware of a feeling in my back before a fllexing (or spasm medical speak) would happen. Surely if an erratic misfiring or electric thingy was happening I would be aware of it by it unpredictability alone. So to me NO that weren't happening.

What concerns me that if you have doubt, or perhaps a quite interesting theory, you are then told to deny that thought or query, as there are no answers, and you are simply in denial, ACCEPT it and sit back down.

Well HELLOOO!, I don't think so. I know (metorforically) I do NOT stand alone, you have just been convinced to sit down,behave and be quite. Well I tell you now I intend to be very very naughty very naughty indeed.

my bladder is better, not totally fixed

Approx 2 years ago now I had acupuncture along the bladder line, and the results have been amazing, over time my bladder has strengthened, where I had urgency, and many accidents, including wetting my bed once, that has all stopped totally and for well over a year now. This year was the second year that the heat inside and outside the house has NOT affected me and my God it truely made me feel awful, I had to have tepid baths to reregulate my temperature, and needed an electric fan to give me a little respite. you all know exactly how I felt. My theory as to why this happened is, heat energy is expelled by the body through the urinary tract, mine was malfunctioning so therefore could not do it. After 2 years you would think memories would fade as to how bad I would feel but I really don't know how I coped then, it was such a bad experience.
I don't know why the acupuncture worked so well but it did, my only problem is now, no message is received to my bladder from my brain to start but as I detwist I believe that the messaging system will return. I am aware when my bladder is full as there is a tension down my right leg, which is released once I go. Also as I crawl these days, (temporarily I might add) I am aware of a signal being received to my bladder, if I stretch my neck. I am not surprised at these two occurances, as the bladder meridian runs down the spine and down the right leg, so its not a coincidence, if you correspond the points of the bladeer merridian to Dr Windmans diagram of the problems to the structure that a misaligned ATLAS causes, they correspond at many points, not just some but most of them.

I think my spine twisted for some years internally first, so I looked quite normal on the outside, and therefore affected my bladder secretly hence my first and foremost problem. I have now decided to look more closely into urine infections, right now as there must be a link.

Also wind was an issue, you will know what I mean. Anyway it isnt now.

So three bonuses from one type of treatment, Acupucture, and because of the benefits it has afforded me means that I can go and have Chiropractic treatment on my ATLAS not having to worry about my bladder, its brill.

I have just researched UTIs, and an infection can be caused by not going soon enough, as the bladder wall weakens, and doesnt empty properly thus making it suseptable to infection. thats interesting perhaps my bladder was weekened by the internal twisting and I just didnt notice, that is really interesting

 You see this blog is going to be really long because I have come back as I have just remembered another possitive. The body needs moisture, you're not drinking it because it goes straight through you, so you cut down on your intake of liquid. Our bodies need moisture and it will take it from where it is available and that is the bowel, hence constipation, I now don't have that problem, did do though, won't go into detail as you know full well what its like.


There I think thats it, so four pluses not three. I can go to bed now.

I can now be Mum again

Its kind of funny, that a tiny bone that stands between my head and my body has caused me so many complex knock on effects.

Our bodies are like a piece of incredible exact engineering, if one componant is out just a fraction of a mm, it renders the whole system US (unserviceable)

I believed for many years that I couldnt walk properly for psychological reasons.

I had a dream where a gun was held to my daughters head when she was little, and I was told if I wallk to her, she wouldnt die, a request I knew I could not complete no matter how hard I tried and those familiar eyes from that tiny beautiful face looked back at me,  as always asking me as her Mum, to make it all better, as I had always only ever done her whole life.

But I knew this time I couldnt help her, and this made me feel a total failure as her Mum, I would then wake up, therefore not made to witness, what I was powerless to stop, my heart broken, and so distressed for years

But today I know without any doubt , that I couldnt have saved her, because it wasnt physically possible.

Now I finally know what I am dealing with, and what needs to be done, this time I am in control, in what will happen in my future, and when its all sorted I will walk over to her and give her the biggest hug that I ever have.

And that makes me feel the Mum I am. So for all similar Mums and their little girls like my Kimberly, I will make myself heard, no matter what

how did I find myself here

I cared too much, gave the benefit of the doubt too many times, took on both of the responsible parent roles,  and always put myself last no matter what. I subconsciously waited  for change that just wasn't going to happen.

That is how I got here, no bus or train required, just life.

I suppose I put all my eggs in one basket and for that I got scrambled.

Real people, real experiences

A vast amount of information can be gathered by observing men and womens experiences on the MS website, I can't believe that all of what is said is not taken into serious consideration.

The current feedback from Neuro appointments. their attitudes that in my case correct, but they just havent got it all yet, the penny hasnt dropped. I'm sure that there are many Neurologists that are sooooo confused.

So MS doesnt cause pain, in my case correct, nervous tension does though especially if as in my case your Atlas is misalligned, which has caused my spine to twist, causing neck pain and lower back pain, nothing to do with MS.

So the expression that its all in your head, is true in my case, anxiety stress, nervous tension, had such an influence on me physically especially causing tremor, so I suppose the answer is, yes it was. But its not all a simple as that. People are being left in total distress, now that is a disgrace and very very wrong

There is one partcular item on website, where a wife has all of the symptoms, but tests are clear, this poor woman may be like me, I had all symptoms, but my MRI was positive, so hello some one's got it wrong.

Something is really really wrong, dont just dismiss it, what I say is relevant, and I will not give up never, there are kids out there denied having kids and that is unforgivable if wrongly diagnosed, luckily I'd had mine.

I will fight for all them kids, because they could be mine

Twisted lower spine

Went to see John my Chiropractor, I keep retwisting at my lower back, by jove I think I've got it. I can only lay on my left side and my legs lay heavy, I must kind of twist, as I have noticed that my hair on the back of my head is always matted, so I must sleep twisted as my legs are always to the side. I'm going to retrain sleeping on my right.


Another thing I've noticed is how my left leg pulls in to my right, so now when sitting gently move my foot a little amount to the left, feels really quite comfortable. A lot of things have become a habit, these I now break.

Observation is everything

If a psychologist observed over a period of time the MS website, that there is a problem some posts, they would know what my concerns are.What is happening is all done with the best and kindest intentions, but is causing a greater confusion and mess.

I know that there are many many positive people on the site, but no matter how hard you try, the main elliment is a negative one you just can't escape it, even annoncements of a sad event i.e. a pet dying and it is not good for people like me to be there, because if I'm honest it has a negative vibe, an awful lot of sorrys, and a welcoming to the MS gang. Its a place where symptoms are verified and people through no fault of their own,some are considered as experts on a the subject, but if the original concept and ideas were wrong, so could there reasons as to why these symptoms occur and as to why, We are still individuals with our own ideas and doubts. Its all so unintentional. And what worries me is because I am different, with different ideas etc. and I can be very matter of fact and straight to the point, I think that is why others took a dislike to me and I was only ever polite, and I was got rid of in a very underhand way, they closed ranks on me, it didnt matter what I had to say, I even wrote to the top man/woman, I was totally ignored, now that is really, really worrying.

I'll always come back to Atlas and stress every time, theres to much of a linkage, and if the spine is comprimised, nervous tension will have a greater impact and show itself physically, in my case tremor, its not good to  go down the self diagnosis route, when there maybe alternative reasons i.e. a side effect of a drug, or the consequences due to stress, or a symptom of something completely different like a misaligned Atlas, this can be responsible for many many things i.e.sinus probs,asthma,tinnitus, allergies, neck pain,balance probs, nervous tension fatigue,knee pain,trigemal neuralgia, cervical and lumber pain,arm pain, hip pain,lower back pain, numbness,fibromyalgia. I've seen these all mentioned on the MSS bwebsite between  users. google Dr Windman Atlas dont just take my word for it.

Drugs not the answer (well mine anyway)

This re allignment malarky of my Atlas and spine via my Chiropractor is not all plain sailing, my problems have occurred over a 10 year or so period, it will take time to get back to normal. The healing crisis has been invaluable, as to some initial reactions mind wise that is. And it is 3 steps forward 2 steps back which can be very upsetting and frustrating, I subconsciously got to such a twisted condition, but in reverse I am very conscious of it all, and yeah pain is involved, particularly my lower back, right calf, neck, but at least I know these are temporary. So yeah I have cried a lot, and yeah a certain amount of pain is involved. I know if I went to a Doctor, and my diagnosis was taken into account, I would leave with a prescription for painkillers and antidepressants. STOP drugs are not the answer, not at all.  Because of the impact that my incorrect diagnosis could cause in respect to a trained medic. I think its now time for me to draw up a living will, to specify that I do not want any treatment whatsoever as to regards MS from the NHS, in other words theywill need to backoff.

Staying out of NHS system

I can't express how happy and relieved I am that I stayed out of the NHS system. Any system really, I was on MS Society website not for advice or empathy, but to prevoke thought debate, and get answers to theories, I was on there for eight months, and gleened some most valuable information from others, sometime when there weren't any answers to a question or theory I had put forward, that in itself gave me a most valuable answer. I had two hats as a personality, a silly hat where I would have a bit of a laugh swapping humour etc I think that I had built up a nice casual relationship with others. But I would also have my serious hat and I think others were aware when I did, and would answer my questions etc quite matter of factly. You see I only deal with the bottom line only, so cut out all the unecessary waffle, I like to get  straight to the point  as politely as I can. I had to take extreme care not to frighten people with certain things as I was quite aware there were much younger people out there, and I didnt want to cause them worry or stress. The young ones are the people I would like to express my theories etc and they might strike a chord. Dont be convinced by others either medics or even others diagnosed, that you have to accept it and thats it. Because if you are like me NO you dont, you are still you and follow your GUT reaction. I am lucky have a great non judgemental and supportive family as to what I wish to achieve. I have had to become a kind of recluse, my choice though, absolutely, I choose not to use my wheelchair, so at mo crawl a lot, my son is ok with that, he can see the other improvements in me, my walking was the first to be affected, so it will be the last to return. So when I have to struggle here or struggle there, I say out loud to myself, its not permenant but temporary, and that makes a tremedous difference.

fibromyalgia

Yet another misdiagnosis waiting to happen. Stress/tension causes the body or especially mine or it did do to malfunction fluidity wise. My stress caused allsorts especially tremor. I now know that,

There are several people on MS website that have been diagnosed with both.

Mind and Body

I shall never again underestimate the influence that the mind has on the body. I have learnt so much and still learning. As nervous tension is causing me a bit of a problem at the moment, but I imagine once my physical structure with the help of an excellent Chiropractor, when my structure realligns, tension won't have such a physical effect causing such ridgidity.

See that whole Body Mind link is so powerful, and should be respected at all times

Listen to what your body is telling you

When I trace back to my very first funny feeling was approx 17 years ago, I had a desensitised feeling all down my left side from the top of my head to the tip of my toe, at the time I was diagnosed with depression and that was really plausable at the time as my partner caused quite a lot of uneccessary silly stress, lots and lots of trivial avoidable stuff really, but it all mounts up I suppose. (I didn't quite understand how much, and to what effect at the time) Anyway, (MS was certainly not mentioned at the time and thank God it wasn't. The feeling passed in a few weeks, and I continued normally with my life, even had a third child. You see I now believe that my body was warning me, to hang back on the old stress. But unfortunately I ignored it. So some years later, another set of avoidable circumstances this time bigger stuff, I eventually received another warning, this time a little more definable and severe, this time my balance was comprimised my second alert. Anyway what I am trying to say, I believe that I only went into remission because I DID NOT now about ms theory. So don't be so eager to get a diagnosis after your first alert, go and calmly continue life, but learn by what your body is trying to tell you.

my mess

My mess/ms

I sat in my wheelchair, afraid and alone,
I hate being here I want to go home,
The thought of just sitting, for the rest of my life,
Cuts into my heart, like a long jagged knife,
Is this it, right now, how life is to be,
But luckily not, not happening to me,

Suicide was no option, that road I wont take,
But consider just this, ms maybe fake,
I focussed my mind on alternative routes,
Eventually I’ll succeed, in giving the boot,
My first port of call, a physio called Louise,
Who actually listened and did humour me,

And thank God that she did, acupuncture she gave,
Now that wheelchair sits there, I wont be its slave,
As time did pass by, the better I’d feel,
I’m liking this hand, a much fairer deal.
I’m back on my feet, with my walker ahead,
But I now know I wont, be forever in bed,

Its all so complex, a hell of a mess,
This stupid disease, that they all call ms,
I will not conform, there are answers I seek,
I will not just sit, shut up and be weak,
I will continue my quest, for however long,
They need not prove me right, but just prove wrong,

Stress is the worst thing, to let it all grow,
The effect it sure has, only I seem to know,
Stress feeds through your day, from morning to night,
It wont let you rest, its always in sight.
Stress feeds off stress and then feeds my mess,
It gets bigger and bigger and never gets less.

Its hard I now know to break into this house,
But my stress now lays quiet like some kind of mouse,
The bladder’s the key,  break the link in that chain,
And now I can watch it, go off with its pain,
When the link has been broken, you begin to live life,
Ms didn’t break me, and make me its wife.

I have taken it slow, at my kind of pace,
Not rushed or fought it, as is complex like lace,
But now that I see, now what hides it all,
I want to tell others, just give them a call,
Prognosis alone, causes all kinds of stress,
But strip it away, and there is no ms

By ME

An explosion of an umbrella that keeps going

After observing a much loved and well known website, several things have become apparent to me. Many, many people are in a position of limbo, now this in itself really concerns me, as they are then turning to others for advice or confirmation of a symptom that they may have, that comes under that massive ever growing MS umbrella, this is then confirmed by others who have been diagnosed that they also have the same sympton, and there you go, validated. For someone like myself,  that is a dangerous position to find yourself in, as I had most symptoms e.g tremor, spasm etc etc the only thing that I didn't have was fatigue, I have been subjected to personal indignitities that no man or woman should have to endure. Back to the self diagnosis of a symptom, there are many crossovers to other conditions, one in particular is STRESS it causes many malfunctions within the body, hairloss, ridgidity, itching, depression the list goes on and on. There is a mass of crossovers no wonder neurologists are struggling, Lupus, Lymes, Hughes Syndrome and I imagine many others. I havent even mentioned the indicative side effects of drugs given, so that a patient believes the sympton is that of MS, when in fact it is a side effect of a drug they are taking. I have looked into some drugs that are prescribed and it is quite incredible that there is undoubtedly an in your face link. I know exactly why people go to this particular website, it offers help support and friendship and there are many many good people on this site, but the ammount of overturned info is not good "go to www. here go to www. there" these are places you will NOT get conclusive proof of anything, its all assumed info, and if only veiwed as a medical problem, which is wrong, causes more stress related damage, as cramming ones head with unproven issues.

Even today somebody said, something like, we need to accept and move on, NO WE DON'T, if you doubt it, you have reason to, you don't have todo anything that you may NOT agree with, for reasons of your own Just because you have been diagnosed with a specific condition, doesn't mean you lose all ability to use your own intuition, don't let them lock that door, walk away and throw away that key.


There are alternative answers out there, I know this, but you have to throw out the MS manual, and get right back to basics. From a non medical angle, my problems, was STRESS and misaligned ATLAS.


I am also interested as to how many people diagnosed with MS, have had an autopsy after death, confirming conclusively whether or NOT as the case may be they have sustained meylin sheath damage. Now where are those findings may I add. If the original theory that MS is only condition that cause lesions on the brain and spine. So over 30 or 40 years no alternative theory has come along and cancelled that out, surely that is progress and what happens in science, or do we blindly go with that the original theory was 100% correct, no question, looks to me as if they have been running with the wrong ball all along.

I can't find it now

Although I can't fnd any info on it now. But there was an American wheelchair bound lady who was struck by lightening, and afterwarsds could walk. I wonder if the convulsion that was caused realigned her Atlas.

He is spot on

I received Noel Batten's DVD today and this man, (who I believe has been maligned by some,)  is spot on,  it was an incredible watch, I kept nodding and saying yes to what he said out loud. This (in my opinion) kind man sent me his ebook (for free ) some years ago, what he said about Tiffany then made perfect sense, as his other examples do today, gobsmackingly brilliant. I have always known that I was right, so how good do I feel today eh! brilliant. The Parkinson thing again is so very very interesting.

A diffferent soreness

I went to see john my chiro yesterday, and this is the first time I had soreness as a result of treatment, this is so good because all the other times I've had pain anyway so havent really noticed any difference.

Also, I am experiencing like growing pains now and again, the ones you have when you are a kid.

All this is really exciting, as I now know that I am closer to the end than the beginning. I might be sore, but I am happy.

What is worrying me today

What is really causing me concern, is the resorting to a cancer drug (mitox) in treating those diagnosed with MS.
grabbing at straws, desperation and gineau pigs springs to mind. What also concerns me, instead of investigating the positives, for example that I have experienced through acupuncture along the bladder line, they seem to resort to Botox, this again seems a wrong move. An NHS physio called Louise introduced me to acupuncture, and I experienced many little possitives, which I hope have been noted in my medical file. Anyway after my current sessions with Louise I then did go to see a neurologist to request further sessions as still experiencing possitives and hadnt yet stopped, but I was told that I wasnt entitled to further session, get this, unless I got worse, well where on earth was the sense in that, total crackers, mind you I wasnt going to waste any more of my time by objecting, as already waited ages in waiting room.

Virtual friends

After my experiences, being forcably excluded from a site on an original  total false accusation. The same people who are seen as so kind, friendly, huggy and kissy by others, were certainly very crafty and I believe, had the hyena mentally, one starts and along come the others, I really cant be doing with all that. So as I say to my childeren on line on any say social site, people aren't always what they seem, so without making you paranoid always always be aware, and watch your back, but at the same time enjoy.

What woriies me is with this particular organisation, I think there was socialising within the ranks, from users upwards, and they knew eachother, so therefore in my case, when I tried to put my case forward, it fell on very deaf ears, very unprofessional and unsatisfactory. They know who they are, well aware. but at least I cant get chucked off here ha ha so perhaps I did have the last laugh

How much info can one person take

Apparently neurologists are now sending MRI results to patients, with jargon that only makes sense to a qualified medic. NOW COME ON dont you think those diagnosed with MS have enough non factual information to absorb, also given by others www. this and www. that reams and reams of it. no wonder they have no room to retain every day normal info as their minds are cranm packed with the thought of the condition and its problem every waking moment. For others like myself, who disagree 100% with diagnosis this would be a futile excercise, The only sympton I did not have was fatigue. I had juddering (tremor) due to a build up of nervous stress in my upper back. If I raised my arm horizontal out to the side, I could get it to stop. Flexing or spasm I had particularly when I needed to go to the loo, as acupucture improved my bladder strength, and Chiropractic treatment re my misalignment, this has now stopped. Tingly neck to right hand when dropping head forward (l'hermittes) this has also gone. trippy feet (dropped foot) now although I cannot stand because as yet I cannot put right heel to floor, dropped foot is not the reason.  I believe my tendons and muscles over a 9 year period have shortened down my right side, so is really quite painful as feels like calf muscle and knee is ripping when trying to stretch, but that will gradually as it has done get easier as they stretch back.So in my case would have been a waist of time researching symptoms, and totally irrelevant to my circumstances, as other rectifyable reasons for my problems.

nobody can tell

There is no ultimate proof that a drug or procedure that is said to improve ones chances or symptoms, does not have part or all improvements experienced to be a placebo effect. This is because psychologically the thought of assistance can have such a massive effect in relieving an eliment of stress. There is absolutely no proof that it is the drug itself, non at all. Which in a way is a most possitive thing, the mind and body are so interlinked it is quite incredible

Side effect or symptom?

Another thing that concerns me is I have looked up the side effects of many drugs given to ms patients, to be quite alarmed that many of their side effects could heightens  an existing symptom or in fact create it, therefore the patient has no idea if caused by the condition or by the drug itself.

gut reaction

What does really concern me is people like myself who deny their diagnosis (which I have to undoubtedly prove by walking) is that people are being forced to accept the unacceptable and they have their own gut reaction of doubt (things don't seem to ring true) only to be then told, that you have no choice there are no answers, only then to be told "I think you may be in denial" to me what a load of utter rubbish, what gives them the right to say that to me, as if to say "I'm sorry you are undoubtedly in the MS group now" What???? so I just have to acceot go away, take what you are prescribed and shut up. Well I DONT THINK SO, and thank God I havent. There will never be progress if people are forced to deny their gut reaction, no progress at all, it might not be a medical solution, but a solution to some all the same.

In Reverse

Walking is not going to happen overnight, still cannot stand, and have to drag myself around at mo. Couldnt get into bed last night for the first time eva. got upset and then that made it hatder and that upset me even more, got in eventually though. It took 9 years for my spine to twist, I expect certain things to get worse before they get better, but thank goodness that the acupunture improved my bladder and now its strong, as if I was like two years or so ago, all this would be so distressing. So on I go, and I will get there.

Not Happy with NHS

As confirmation after confirmation proves to myself that 10 years ago the NHS got my diagnosis on a possitive MRI I might add so wrong, it really is starting to annoy me. 10 years of my life written off, because the fact was my Atlas had shifted, due to my balance being conprimised, whilst having somekind of stress warning, my first one several years previous I unwittinglly ignored.

Because my Atlas was out over the years it caused my spine to twist, causing misalignment, including in my hips, making it impossible to stand and causing numerous knock on effect, particularly the bladder.

I have been looking through a book called The Chiropractic Way by Michael Lenarz, there is a list of ailments that Chiropractors can help with there are 10 out of 79 that is not including blood pressure,tinnitus,headaches/migraines etc. which are included under that MS umbrella This to me is a penny dropping very loudly, its a shame NHS arent that intuative, they have had 30year or so concerntrating on medical and science theories, perhaps it simpilar than that. They need to think outside the box, throw out the current MS manual and look at it all again with fresh eyes.

With today stresses on our young adults today, I imagine in that age group, esp with the pressures of exams and uni deadlines, there are many falling victim of this as I see it gross mis management.

I can only presume that the MS Society only concerntrate on research into the sciences of it all, In my oppinion what an incredible waste of resourses. Monies raised should have been put into both medical and possible alternatives. Its totally irresponsible and a very blinkered  attitude. It might be a voluntary organisation but thats no excuse, a professional openess should have been observed by those at the top.

Someone, join up the dots, its all out there, I found it, and I am just an ordinary Mum that knew things just didn't add up.

Pass it on

If you veiw this blog and although you may not  agree with what I say, please please pass it on to let others contemplate what I am saying, therefore kindly giving them the opportunity to make up their own minds either way. In the end I was constantly talked over by a minority group  on the MSS website, once this group got a bit personal, I was out of there, (don't need the agro) now I will never  actively  return, therefore these few individuals denied others the opportunity of debate and discussion, which they are quite capable of doing, it was such a shame. I am a person who is matter of fact, don't like hoodwinkers or time wasters, and mainly a bottom line person cutting out unecessary chat/info

Tickety boo!

As I am doing well and am still de-twisting. and the burning pain from yesterday has gone, what a relief. When my left hip was manipulated, my right leg flexed up, you see the body is so intricate everything is connected, its amazing, I have skimmed through two books recently Quantum Heeling by Deepak Chopra and Chiropractic Way by Micheal Lenarz D. C. What both men say makes incredible sense to me on two different subjects but ver very much linked. I feel really quite excited about my future, and I know that I am on the right track, but to get here I have had to stay out of NHS system and ignore peoples attitudes regarding medical interventions etc etc it would have been very dangerous for me to be taken in by it all, its really quite scarey. 10 years of my life has just been written off, for what I consider avoidable attitudes. For me the last place I should be is the MS website, I'm not hard faced but my hugs kisses and prayers are not going to help one iota, but my research will, and that makes me very happy, as I cant be the only one

Today

I am really quite pleased to be seeing my chiropractor John today, Things certainly aren't a walk  in the park, I cant stand at all at the mo. eve though I was starting to be able to a couple of weeks ago, but then again I can do lots of little other things that I havent been able to. I used to be terrified of having a shower, even though I had a chair, not sliding of it and staying on it was a talent in itself, I'm not scared anymore which is brill. I do have to crawl at mo with usually right leg outstretched, but it is my choice to do so, my son accepts that is how I am at mo. and so do I, using my wheelchair is out of the question, and is only used when I see John. I am pleased to be going today, because the recent burning feeling in along my spine has gone at the mo. and when I manage to stretch out my right leg, the ripping sore feeling is nowhere near as bad as it was, its still sore but at least now I don't have to bite my pillow. I think over the 9 years I subconsciously got as wonky as I was, and now I am consciously reversing, I have experienced many different feeling. Particularly the crawling around my neck, like an insect is on me, and a tickley feeling in my upper right back. This blog is great as I get to write all my feelings down, rather than having to keep them to myself, as in a way I was trying to carefully do that on the MS website, to create some much needed possirivity. But unfortunately a minority headed by a long timer thought that I was only there to get under there skin, they were so wrong as I am mostly interested in influencing a much younger generation, and to get accross, that we have more control of our lives, than we are given reason to believe, it's the young open minds, that are able to stay out of the box that so many want to push us into, that will perhaps not view it as such a medical problem with drugs as its only solution, but have an alternative attitude and outlook. Believe me there are answers out there, its just a case of bringing them altogether, the psychological problems re anxiety and stress caused has a massive effect on excaserpation of symptoms. I was taking Citralopram ant anti d up until a couple of weeks ago,. Then it suddenly occured to me, I'm not depressed, and I am addressing my anxiety fears, I have made myself my controller and have opted out of the outside world at the mo. but that is my choice, no-one elses. And eventually I will be going out there just not yet and totally on my terms. I could write for days but I best stop as I will miss an important appointment that I have today. So bye bye my new friend, as in my blog

Its good to talk

I would like to make it very, very clear and to thank many who have helped me with various question and theories and with some thought prevoking stuff that they gave me important feedback on the MS website, it was so important to learn how people felt about some issues. I had spent many, many months gaining peoples trust and I would like to think a certain amount of respect for what I was trying to do. I would like to especially thank Ellie, who advised me about The Healing Crisis, this has been crucial to me. So thanx Ellie. Unfortunately for reasons beyond my control, I have been forced to leave the website as a participating member, I am now strictly an observer. I could divulge more but I have to be very careful for future legal reasons.

But there are many many good kind people on that site and to them I say Thank You.

Why?

I find it quite incredible that Chiropractors are not consulted or involved in the treatment of MS a disease that is known to effect the spinal chord, This just doesnt make any sense at all. Chiropractors are expert in the bodies skeletal structure, it seems totally mad to exclude them. I now know how crucial the cervical spine is this part of the spine includes the Atlas on which the head balances. As I have said before our stucture is like a piece of engineering, if one componant is slightly out it renders the rest useless.

I think why heat has its effect

The heat used to make me feel so bad, having to have a tepid bath to bring down my temperature.

Any way after having acupucture initially via the NHS along the bladder meridian, by a fantastic nurse called Louise, I experienced many benefits the main one the strengthening of my bladder, now not sensitive, no more accidents, or urgency, plus this is the second year the heat has not affected me at all.

As to why this has happeneds is, energy is expelled from the body through the urinary system, in my case this was faulty and I believe that caused me the problem.

self diagnosis

Somebody can ask via a forum about a particular symptom i.e. reflux and in a reply it is verified that they also get this, and it is loosely presumed that this is a ms symptom, when in fact there may be an alternative cause. Many things are stress related, even drug symptom related, stress is such a contributary factor in exaserpating many motor functions, a continuous catch 22 manifests, an underlying pain/ache causing stress which then effects the bodies ridgidity and causing the pain to increase, thus causing more tension and it becomes a continuous catch 22 were the physical effects the psychological vice versa, a loop begins. I think neurologists are in an impossible situation, they have to follow protocol, but some must know that things just don't make sense. The umbrella of supposid symptoms has become so big it is impossible to hold it up.

I believe that the skelatal structure is like a piece of engineering, and if one componant for example the Atlas, the whole system malfunctions.

I am so pleased that I had the acupuncture along the bladder meridian,which made a great improvement in strength, because if not I would not be able to see and go for treatment to my chiropractor, because it would worry me.

There are answers out there, they are just not through medical means, but alternatives. We have become a society so reliant on drug that we can't see outside the box.

Feed me

Stress, stress fed my mess, it got bigger and bigger and never got less.

Stop watching me

What got to me regarding the diagnosis, was the thought that I was now public property. I have always been a private person, my business strictly stayed mine, what I disclosed and to whom was always my decission, gossip and heresay I stayed out of, my choice. Now all of a sudden I had none, strangers had complete access to my business and that to me was grossly wrong. Then the paranoiya set in, people were watching every move I made, they knew things about me and that wasnt fair. A friend walked passed my house and I reversed into a cupboard (a big one, not the one under the sink) scared that he would see me and call round, an irrational act but all the same I did it. (I just couldn't be bothered putting on an act, not today) I would do the garden, and stop and be very quiet if anyone passed by, I don't want people to see me struggle and feel sorry for me, God forbid, I have always always been very independant when it comes to a bit of D.I.Y.

Anyway there was somebody watching me, every move I made and struggled at,. So I had been right all along. But the person watching me was ME and no-one else. People are busy with their own lives, why would they waste it  watching me, its only now I can see that.

How long ago?

How long ago was it established that ms and only ms produced the sort of lesions or white patch thingys on the brain. Has nothing come along since then to question that theory, that perhaps some kind of stress overload may have the same effect/ pattern.  This maybe another area that I may look into, just to settle my own curiosity.

Am I the only one?

Am I the only individual who believes has been mistakenly diagnosed with the condition MS. I keep searching, just can't find anyone, I know about the Medical Mistake theory by I think Noel Batton. Is it that anyone who doubts their diagnosis, is convinced by others, that they must be in a state of denial wow that's incredible, there are always mistakes made by the medical proffession or scientists, that's how we learn, by past mistakes, thats just life.

But no-one misdiagnosed with MS. well I know at least one instance ME

Placebo/drug trials for ms

If a drug is trialed against a placebo, how are they possitively sure that the actual drug has not had a placebo effect.

my mess/ms: my mess

my mess/ms: my mess: "Hi! I was diagnosed, in 2000 MRI of having MS (Multiple schlerosis). This was based on a positive MRI. Today this diagnosis I totally refute..."

A mess of drugs

I have just looked up some side effect of drugs used to treat todays MS particularly gabapentin and 7 others, the results are incredulous, as a lot off side effects are indicative of ms itself, so a drug that is prescribed to solve one problem causes another that appears to be caused by ms itself. Crazy no wonder no-one knows whats going on, its so overcomplicated. Where in my case my underlying problem, which after acupuncture moved some of my bladder problems out of the way, and a lot of psychological stuff which included some acute anxieties, I finally got down to my problem, my Atlas which had caused so many knock on effects, amazing and very complex, wow!!!

Yet another angle

Lymes
Caused by a bite from a tick, leaves sometimes a bullseye shaped mark which maybe painless.

After rash symptoms may be

fever
headache
swollen lymph glands
muscle and joint pain
general feeling unwell

If not treated promptly
fever
headaches
stiff neck
joint swelling
fatigue
joint pain
knee pain
arthritis

A blood test can confirm diagnosis

Well I didnt know that

Hi!

Lupus can be drug induced, well I didnt know that, wrong diagnosis.com is so informative.
Lupus usually occurs in young adulthood, people prone to the disease are hispanic/black descent plus those who take beta blockers.

periodic attacck/flare ups

All individuals are different (one size doesn't fit all)

Butterfly rash on face maynot occur

Symptoms may include

fever
seizures
anemia
photophobic (what that is I dont know)
painfull swollen joints
rash from sun exposure
hairloss

There is no one particular test that can be done, a doctor would go by medical history.
There is a lot more reading on it, but blow that for a game of soldiers

Open those floodgates

Hi! I do lots of skimming research (no big reading) on the Atlas, apparently the symptoms of a misaligned atlas are sinus problems,asthma, tinnitus, allergies, neck pain, balance problems plusnervous tension, fatigue, knee paintrigeminal neuralgia, cervical & lumber pain problems, arm pain, hip pain, lower back pain, numbness, fibromyalgia.


In my case it has also effected blood flow, as mine has increased remarkably, I have read it can effect blood flow, kind of makes sense to the CCSVI theory in ms, I dont doubt at all that there will be a large number with restricted blood flow.

I have found many many answers to many many questions, I'm so glad I only take notice of my own investigations.

The plot thickens

Regarding MS I have thrown the rule book out, and so they should too.

These could be possible factors, especially if MRI and Lumber puncture is clear.

Lymes Diseases, caused by a bite from a tick,
Lupus
Hughes Syndrome
Lymphatic system
Pressure points (effected with stress)
Bladder meridian (acupucture speak)
Misalined Atlas (that causes spine to eventually twist and many other problems)
Then throw in the Psychological problems that are caused, by diagnosis  just even waiting in limbo.

When is someone going to join up the dots, oh when, I've joined mine up, not easy but I got there.

my mess

Hi!

I was diagnosed, in 2000 of having MS (Multiple schlerosis). This was based on a positive MRI.

Today this diagnosis I totally refute  100%. I have declined to enter any current NHS system that exists regarding this condition, which I now believe has been embelished and added to over the years to the definition that exists today.

Somebody once questioned me via the mss website, "so you know more than a neurologist do you?" not that I answered this publicaly at the time. But as regards to my own body and it's reactions to various situations, (particularly stress,) then yes I do.

I have observed every move and every reaction I have had over the last years.

I did attend an NHS physio a couple of years ago, she was trying to get me to raise my legs, to which I explained, that, that wasn't going to happen until my upper body was right. She then resorted to performing accupuncture on me along the bladder line and continued to do so until my sessions ended. I experienced many small benefits, the main one being that my bladder increased in density. I did see an NHS neuro at the time to request further sessions, but this was refused, I could only access more physio if I got worse, (yeah made sense to me to) so I continued privately until progress ceased.

I then decided to visit a chiropractor. I have known for a long time, that I have a problem in my cervical spine which is the neck. I have done my own research on the implications of a misaligned  atlas, I have been interested in a procedure Montel Williams had some years ago, Noel Battons example on a lady called Tiffany and on a Dr Windmans discriptions and diagram on the knock on effects that a misalligned Atlas is responsible for, there are remarkable similarities TN being one of them fatigue, nervous tension,knee pain, neck pain,arm pain, hip pain, lower back pain, sciatica numbness and fibromyalgia. Others are sinus problems asthma, tinnitus,allergies, balance problems.

I have been seeing a chiropractor called John, who is treating me as an individual, the ms diagnosis doesnt come into it, he doesn't believe in xrays either, which is good as some neck issues don't show up on xrays even an MRI. Since I have seen him I am aware that I am untwisting and gradually straightening, no I can't walk yet, but I expect to and I know that I will, but it took me 9 years to get this twisted, it is not going to happen over night but it will.

I have thrown the ms rule book out and I am finding answers, my Dad did a lot of engine maintenance and D.I.Y. things don't work for a reason, I have found my reason.

Just some other points, the bladder meridian (acupuncture speak) runs down the spine and the right leg if you correspond the points to the problem areas of Dr Windmans  example, the concur. Also there are pressure points to consider, and the lymphatic system it all seems to relate and makes perfect sense of this whole big mess.
Also theres the mind body thing, which again causes a catch 22 the physical effects the psychological and the psychological effects the physical and it just continues, the stress gets bigger and never gets less and all it does is add to the mess.

By Me