Better every time

I went to see john my Chiropractor today, I usually feel a bit rough for first three days after, but not feeling to bad this time. I feel closer to walking more than ever, juddering (tremor) gone, flexing (spasm) gone, my body was always stressed physically all over, but is now quieter in areas. And my problems seem to be in my right hip, which causes a painfull tightness down my right leg, my calf feels as if it is actually ripping inside. I'm really not pushing or challenging it, just going with the flow, I've done a lot of puzzles, was going to do some knitting, but a no no as too neck intensive. I think if I suddenly reverted back even just a few days, I dont think I would cope. How I felt two years ago, was like being buried alive, only at least your air would eventually run out but not in this case, it was like being locked outside on my own, whilst everyone else, was inside, in the warm, chatting and laughing together, whilst I looked un-noticed through the window. My children interacting with everyone else, but me, it was heartbreaking to watch. But now, those tables have turned my future is going to be a bright one, and not one to fear. The psychological aspects I have gone through, is phenominol ( i think thats how you spell it) I even questioned my own sanity, I am doing right, I know I am. Tears have also been a plenty, I had even learned to cry with no tears, so I could instantly appear happy if my son, sister or Mum came in. People may have seen me as arogant or stubborn,but no I have just followed my own beliefs, and damn glad that I did. tomorrow might be a worse day, but at least I know its only temporary.