appreciate life

Its funny because of what I have been through, makes me appreciate and respect life much more, all life, I watched the antics of an ant, busy going about his business, I like the way they always pick up a fallen comrade and take him back to camp. I watched a snail after it had rained, how its antennas popped in and out when you gently touched them. Sad though it sounds these things facinated me, probably because I couldnt do much else than to watch them. I shall never kill an ant regardless, as he has a very busy role in an ants day, to distroy all that effort would be rude of me. Dont get me wrong I know I cant go on in life never killing a creature again, but I wont go out of my way to do it deliberately. Over these last few years I have learnt so much and I have spent so very very long seeing nothing just experiencing a catch 22 of the psychological effecting the physical, the physical effecting the psychological an endless loop, I'm so glad that I managed to get off that particular round about. It was a bit like being buried alive, only being buried alive you air runs out  and you are eventually put out of your misery. I couldnt see beyond ms/mess it just wouldnt let me, but today I see and see it all.