Emotional rollercoaster
I'm on the emotional rollercoaster today. After having had a
wonderful weekend, I find myself today being set upon by fatigue,
increased tinnitus, worsening dizziness despite the medication that I've
been given to help. I'm shaky and wobbly physically.
I hadn't realised quite how much this was also true emotionally until I tried to get my daughter to bed and she didn't want to settle down...but I did. I had to go in the other room and growl for a few seconds. I've been feeling a bit low today on and off.
Part of me keeps telling myself how all these symptoms are very minor. Another part sees them all together as a serious threat to my feeling of security. Saying the wrong word now and again and having trouble typing....like I'm undermining myself. Yup. I need hugs. And someone to tell me its not nothing.
I'm undiagnosed, have a neuro appointment in November, a sight test next week and waiting to hear about a hearing test. And I'm scared, plain and simple. It all suddenly got 'real' when I got my neurology appointment through. (Is verbal diarrhoea a symptom? ;)
I hadn't realised quite how much this was also true emotionally until I tried to get my daughter to bed and she didn't want to settle down...but I did. I had to go in the other room and growl for a few seconds. I've been feeling a bit low today on and off.
Part of me keeps telling myself how all these symptoms are very minor. Another part sees them all together as a serious threat to my feeling of security. Saying the wrong word now and again and having trouble typing....like I'm undermining myself. Yup. I need hugs. And someone to tell me its not nothing.
I'm undiagnosed, have a neuro appointment in November, a sight test next week and waiting to hear about a hearing test. And I'm scared, plain and simple. It all suddenly got 'real' when I got my neurology appointment through. (Is verbal diarrhoea a symptom? ;)
18 Sep 2013 at 8:36PM
Hugs. It's scary isn't it
Axx
Axx
Thanks, Arwen. Yes. Some days more than others, but yes.
18 Sep 2013 at 9:24PM
It's not nothing Reiki - It's clearly upsetting you. Try to
hold on to how you felt this weekend and know that you'll feel like that
again xx
18 Sep 2013 at 9:35PM
It's not nothing reiki - it's obviously really upsetting for
you. It won't always be like this. Try to hold on to how you felt this
weekend and that you will feel like that again x
Thankyou Sunflower, you're right.
Sometimes you know exactly what to say to yourself..but then you don't believe yourself. I'm a holistic therapist (though not a counsellor) and I do a lot of work on personal development. But...I'm grown up enough to realise that sometimes, you just need to reach out for help and that you need to hear certain things from other people.
I was giving a treatment this morning and whilst standing perfectly still, working energetically on my client, I felt as if I was moving from side to side. I checked myself twice..nope, still, not interfering with the treatment...and yet it felt like I was swaying. The niggle of worry started saying 'what if I can't do what I love anymore? ' I hear you, Worryniggle, but I'm going to take each moment as it comes. I choose to be happy anyway ('don't believe you!) but I choose to be happy anyway.
Sometimes you know exactly what to say to yourself..but then you don't believe yourself. I'm a holistic therapist (though not a counsellor) and I do a lot of work on personal development. But...I'm grown up enough to realise that sometimes, you just need to reach out for help and that you need to hear certain things from other people.
I was giving a treatment this morning and whilst standing perfectly still, working energetically on my client, I felt as if I was moving from side to side. I checked myself twice..nope, still, not interfering with the treatment...and yet it felt like I was swaying. The niggle of worry started saying 'what if I can't do what I love anymore? ' I hear you, Worryniggle, but I'm going to take each moment as it comes. I choose to be happy anyway ('don't believe you!) but I choose to be happy anyway.
19 Sep 2013 at 6:24PM
Sorry about the double post - couldn't see it the first time!
I like your thinking 'I choose to be happy anyway'. I'm going to pinch
that if I may :)
Of course you may. Probably pinched it myself from one of the
many personal development books I enjoy reading (cygnus-books is the
best place to find good uns ;) I love their magazine. It helps me to
nurture helpful thoughts and healthy habits. Every time I get off
course, I end up watching a DVD or reading a book that inspires me to
happiness again. And I love to share what helps me so I'm glad to be
able to give as well as receive here ♡
19 Sep 2013 at 9:59PM
Hey Reikiblossom, I too am Reiki, Master ... I no longer
practice tho due to physical reasons, although it is always there ;-) xx
Anyway, I am recently in and out of limbo and still with no given name
of which type lol ... hey ho ... at least I have been told 'yes Amanda U
do have it' .... thats a start i suppose ..... it did only come after i
had put my self in hospital because of anxiety, i went to doc and said
'hey doc, i cant breath very well' with that he sent me off to hospital
to have my lungs checked (just to be sure) ;-) yeah right ... was good
cos they give me a good check over, they noticed my right eye moving
slightly differently to the left, so had that checked... in the end i'd
seen 3 neurologists .... in the end i was told by the look of my notes
ie brain scan was good, lumbar puncture results were not back yet but
with all my walking difficultiIes for the past 4 years i have has MS for
that long ! .... But, I said ! if U want to be more precise I started
my bladder problems 6 years ago didn't I !!!!! ...... I am now waiting
for for the results of the lumbar puncture , what comes next ? MORE
LIMBO
Hi hun, yeh, verbal diarohea (cant spell it) is defo a
part/symptom of MS and other stuff too, which makes us tired, weepy and
not in full control.
You did well to appear all calm and normal, whilst treating a client.
Troublesome youngsters never realise why they must go to bed/eat proper food/behave themselves when visitors arrive etc......so add that into the pot and it sure is a recipe for a difficult household!
Best thing to do is find yourself a quiet space (your treatment room) and use your reki knowledge to calm down, breathe and chill!
luv Pollx
You did well to appear all calm and normal, whilst treating a client.
Troublesome youngsters never realise why they must go to bed/eat proper food/behave themselves when visitors arrive etc......so add that into the pot and it sure is a recipe for a difficult household!
Best thing to do is find yourself a quiet space (your treatment room) and use your reki knowledge to calm down, breathe and chill!
luv Pollx
Amanda, what a journey! Do you find, as I do, that it's so
easy to forget to treat yourself? When I remember, it is never a full
treatment. I use Reiki most often in bed as I can drift off to sleep
doing it though.
Poll, thanks for the advice. (Even though I know this already, sometimes you need someone to remind you). I'm emotionally much better today, though my symptoms keep hammering away at me, shouting for attention, the odd numb-but-not-numb sensation in my left cheek, chin and lips decided to explore the right side of my face briefly. It may have left a slight, almost imperceptible tingle in my right cheek. And the tip of my tongue feels like I've scalded it, but I haven't (recently, anyway).
I'm mostly in a state of confusion...what on earth is going on? But even without the label of a diagnosis I'm attempting to carry on as near normal as possible. With plenty of rest. And liberal use of the delete button whikst typing (see?!)
Opticians appointment coming up, as is a hearing test, so I've some positive steps to take whilst waiting for the neuro appointment. Taking action makes me feel better.
Poll, thanks for the advice. (Even though I know this already, sometimes you need someone to remind you). I'm emotionally much better today, though my symptoms keep hammering away at me, shouting for attention, the odd numb-but-not-numb sensation in my left cheek, chin and lips decided to explore the right side of my face briefly. It may have left a slight, almost imperceptible tingle in my right cheek. And the tip of my tongue feels like I've scalded it, but I haven't (recently, anyway).
I'm mostly in a state of confusion...what on earth is going on? But even without the label of a diagnosis I'm attempting to carry on as near normal as possible. With plenty of rest. And liberal use of the delete button whikst typing (see?!)
Opticians appointment coming up, as is a hearing test, so I've some positive steps to take whilst waiting for the neuro appointment. Taking action makes me feel better.
20 Sep 2013 at 5:07PM
Reiki - glad you're feeling a bit more upbeat today.
I just wanted to say that I have similar symptoms in the face, lips etc as you, and am so glad you mentioned about your tongue feeling as if you've scalded it..........I get this and it's really annoying as I know it's not scalded, but feels like it.
It really is good to have this forum, as at least we know we're not going mad!!
I just wanted to say that I have similar symptoms in the face, lips etc as you, and am so glad you mentioned about your tongue feeling as if you've scalded it..........I get this and it's really annoying as I know it's not scalded, but feels like it.
It really is good to have this forum, as at least we know we're not going mad!!
Hmm..I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable now when
people as 'how are you?' and I give my standard reply of 'Fine, thanks'.
Well, some parts of me are but I'd rather avoid going into great
detail. There are a few to whom I've admitted struggling with dizziness
and fatigue (tip of the iceberg)but not many.
Hubby asked (and not for the first time) if the doctor has checked my heart. My dad has heart problems so he might just be worried. The hardest bit of this limbo is how to deal with others' reactions to what you are going through.
That's why I'm here quite a bit. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone in this strange experience. Thanks for the warm and welcoming company, all the more appreciated because I know you're all going through some challenging times too. Everytime I use this:♡ I'm saying 'love and thanks'.
Now to take my dizzy ash-blonde head and reluctantly tip it upside down to wash my hair. I'll be hanging on tight to the bath!
Hubby asked (and not for the first time) if the doctor has checked my heart. My dad has heart problems so he might just be worried. The hardest bit of this limbo is how to deal with others' reactions to what you are going through.
That's why I'm here quite a bit. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone in this strange experience. Thanks for the warm and welcoming company, all the more appreciated because I know you're all going through some challenging times too. Everytime I use this:♡ I'm saying 'love and thanks'.
Now to take my dizzy ash-blonde head and reluctantly tip it upside down to wash my hair. I'll be hanging on tight to the bath!
No comments:
Post a Comment