A Poem of self harm- Powerful insight- hopelessness and helplessness yeah!

Regrets

by MaskedLiar

I regret taking this blade
This blade I held so dear
I regret taking it against my skin
And carving my sins there

I regret every single cut I made
Every scar that is carved against my shallow skin
The blood that slowly dripped from my wrists
My veins turning from blue to crimson red paint

I regret the tears I shed day after day
I regret wishing that I was always dead
Not trying to live
Or fighting to stay

I regret not eating
And throwing away
What others could have had
With the simple saying ''I'm not hungry''

I regret being a burden to everyone around me
Taking them down
As I drown in what I call
Self-hate

I regret losing myself in the ghost of my past
It seems the voices in my head were right
I was never going to last
“Help me?”

I regret the lies that I told to the ones I knew who would believe me
I regret shutting the door in God's face
When I knew he would need me
Turning my cheek against Jesus when his love tried to reach me

I regret taking the alcohol
And drowning deep in my sorrows
Not waking up no more
“Do you remember?”

I regret biting myself
When I could not find the blade
I tried to speak out at one point
“Can you even hear me?”

I regret building my walls up so high
In hoping that some one would try to climb over
Or maybe break them down
“You could have tried a hammer”
I regret taking the rope
And tying that knot to my ceiling bar
Throwing back that wooden chair
And slowly ending it all

I regret writing that suicide letter now
I regret it I really do
Knowing how much I had to live for
But I know it's too late for me since I am dead
The question is?
Is it late now for you